Tortured Embrace Page 11

  Throwing her clothes in the hamper, she sat on the bed in a pajama t-shirt reaching just above her knees to work on her breathing exercises, taking deep inhales in, and exaggerated exhales out. While this helped some, she couldn’t clear her mind to focus, not when Jason’s image continued to live in her head.

  It was almost sickening how much she thought of him. It hurt to know he was so close, yet so irritatingly far. It wasn’t fair. Why did he keep her at arm’s length?

  Anger began to course through her. The idea of never being with Jason was going to drive her mad. What the hell were they doing? Why wasn’t he here right now holding her? Why couldn’t they have the life she felt in her bones they were destined to have?

  Picturing the two of them snuggled on the couch after devouring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, his favorite, made her want to scream. The tension in her body increased. Breathing exercises be damned. There was nothing that could heal the wounds in her life better than Jason’s mere presence.

  Enough was enough. Sick and tired of denying them the happiness she knew was as easily attainable as breathing air, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Life was too short to walk on eggshells. Being alone for so long and enduring the witches’ torture put a lot in perspective. Hell. It wasn’t just a smack in the face. It was a kick, punch, and elbow to the gut.

  Getting up from the bed a bit more composed than before with her new plan in mind, she walked to the living room, knowing with all her heart Jason was just outside. She felt a prickle at the back of her neck, sensing the impending storm about to rain down on Wilmington. Opening the door, she stepped outside, stood on the front porch, and paused for a second in her long T, her arms still at her sides, the sensory light illuminating her in the darkness. Then, gracefully, she turned in his direction.

  The Avalanche was parked down the block, facing the house. The instant he spotted her, thunder cracked deafeningly in the air as it began to pour. Sheets of rain blurred her street. The raging clatter coincided with the roaring in her heart. The short awning above her porch protected her from the buckets cascading down from the sky.

  Feeling his concern for her, she knew he wondered what she was doing out in the rain, late at night.

  Straining over the rumble of thunder, she searched for the sound of his pulse, finding the rapid pace beating wildly in his chest as he stared avidly at her through the hazy windshield of fog and rain. His fiery gaze caused her blood to boil. The rise and fall of his shoulders made her as breathless as he was.

  Serena didn’t care how odd she looked standing here. This was a message to him, a calling. With a trembling hand she reached up to unclip her hair, letting it fall over her shoulders. Her face humorless, she played softly with her tresses, running her fingers lightly through the thick strands over her shoulder.

  With a lasting look, she strode purposefully back into the house leaving the front door wide open. It was a silent yet clear invitation for him to come in. She knew he would as the temperature had dropped immensely the instant it began to pour and he wouldn’t want her to get cold, which was why she loved him with every fiber of her being.

  ****

  The door is open.

  Damn it!

  Jason clenched and unclenched his fists on the steering wheel, watching the veins on his hands ripple with every squeeze. The creaking sound of vinyl echoed loudly with the pounding rain. It was getting stuffy sitting in the cabin of his truck with the engine off and in his John Varvatos officer’s jacket. He’d only put the thing on to cover up the mess he’d made of his arms at the site today. With his mind solely on Serena, he’d been clumsy with some flammables. Luckily, no one but him got hurt, and he’d heal faster than the humans on the site.

  Why was she doing this to him?

  Staring dazedly at the ripples of water on the windshield, he chewed on the inside of his mouth. He’d watched with bated breath as a scantily clad Serena stepped onto the porch and faced him with a determination that scared the hell out of him. He’d never seen his sweet Serena so stern. The thoughtful look in her eyes, the controlled stance, what did it mean?

  The door is open, he thought again, stupidly.

  Letting go of the wheel, he dropped his hands in his lap and leaned his head back. God, the way she’d looked at him made him go hard in his jeans. It was getting increasingly uncomfortable in the seat of his truck, but he couldn’t go in there like this.

  Willing the shit to go down, he maneuvered awkwardly out of the driver’s side and stepped into the rain. His gait was slow, and he half hoped she’d come to her senses and close the damn door in his face, knowing full well she’d left it open for him on purpose. Taking a deep breath, he walked up the front porch and into the house.

  Serena sat with her legs tucked under her on the sofa, her elbow on the arm of the sectional, her head leaning adorably in her hand. They stared for a moment, their muted greeting a routine of sorts. They’d never felt the need for mundane pleasantries. His stomach knotted at the sight of her, so lush, so exquisite. What he wouldn’t give to lay her out on the couch and…

  Thunder sliced through the silence as the rain continued to run down heavily.

  “It’s getting a bit drafty in here. Can you shut the door?” she asked, serenely.

  His heart leapt. Biting down the urge to curse, he asked, “What are you doing?”

  Shrugging, she said, “I thought you might want to come in from the rain.” She glanced at the door. “Could you?”

  Pursing his lips, he turned to close the door then leaned his shoulder against it.

  “Would you like to sit down?” she asked, motioning to the seat next to her.

  Jason shook his head, digging his hands in his pockets, because hell if he knew what to do with them. Well…No. Shit. What the fuck was wrong with him?

  She smirked. “You’re just going to stand there in your jacket?”

  Staring at this new cool and casual Serena, he nodded. What was going on?

  “I feel odd conversing this way. It looks as though you’re about to bolt through the door.”

  “I am,” he answered, lowly.

  Jerking, she let her hand fall from her head, straightening on the couch.

  “I’m dripping wet, Serena.” He lifted his elbows slightly to indicate his sodden clothes. “I don’t want to mess up the floor. What are you doing?” he repeated.

  She relaxed a bit. “I thought we could talk for awhile. Seems silly to sit in your car alone when I’m in here…alone.”

  The way she said the last word made him go hard again. Shrugging a shoulder, he deftly shifted his jacket to conceal himself. “Okay.”

  Eyes roaming everywhere around the room but in her direction, Jason felt a peculiar sensation in his gut. Neither of them said anything for several minutes, and a loud warning seemed to ring in his ears. She was up to something, but all he felt from her was a placid composure. There was definitely something she was hiding, though, something underneath the façade. Yes, her cool and collected persona was just for show. Hiding beneath the surface was a current just waiting to wash over him, and drown the ever-loving life out of him.

  “I’m making you uncomfortable again. Why?” she asked, her sparkling brown eyes narrowing at him.

  Shaking his head, he looked further away from her, peering down the hall toward the kitchen, the bedroom.

  Fuck!

  Before he could stop himself he muttered, “Maybe you should go put some clothes on.”

  She gave a short laugh. “I have clothes on.”

  He shot her a wry look. The twinkle in her eyes, that blushing smile drove him wild.

  Peering up at him through her lashes, she said in a small voice, “It’s not like you haven’t seen me, Jason.”

  All the breath in his lungs shot out. Looking away again, he focused on the coffee table. “I didn’t really…I couldn’t look…” Damn, he could barely speak around her.

  She was quiet for a moment as he fought not to look
in her direction, his eyes searing into the cover of one of her novels. “You averted your eyes, didn’t you?” she asked, sweetly.

  “Of course.”

  Serena let out a long breath. “Wow.”

  His gaze wondered to the wall behind the couch where she had a weird abstract painting of what looked like two people…Oh crap! Shrugging his hand out of his pocket, he ran it roughly down his face. Then, when he couldn’t resist any longer, his eyes landed on her.

  Meeting his stare head on, she sat serenely before him then unfolded her legs leisurely in front of her, stretching them out on the chaise side of the sectional. The only noise beating in his ears was the sound of her skin sliding over the couch, their slow rhythmic breathing, and the thick rain pelting noisily on the windows.

  His chest tightened at the sight of her smooth skin, her delicate bare feet just aching for his touch. The desire to run his hands over each calf, massage the arch of her foot, kiss every part of her skin made him go momentarily blind.

  “You’re staring,” she said, her voice husky.

  Glancing up, he saw her watching him ogle her with her head slightly tilted. Her eyes heated, asking for something he was sure she wasn’t aware of. “Why are you doing this?” he uttered.

  Sternly, she answered, “Because I want you and you want me.”

  He froze. A deer in freaking headlights.

  Her delicate chin lifted. “If you even think to deny it, I’ll scream. If you tell me to stop, I’ll scream. If you utter one word which sounds like a rebuttal, I swear I will start throwing things.”

  In her tirade, her cheeks had flushed, and it took every ounce of control not to go to her. Shit, he had to get out of here, but he was too scared to move a muscle. What if she made do on her threat? He’d never seen Serena lose it, and quite frankly, the notion terrified him.

  “Why do you continue to fight this? Us?” she asked, her eyes growing sad.

  Closing his lids briefly, he loosened his stance and pushed off the door, running a hand through his damp hair. “Serena… I can’t. We can’t.”

  “Why?” her voice shook, her shimmering brown eyes earnest on his.

  She was killing him, seriously, killing him. “I don’t want to hurt you.” Shit. He wasn’t good at this, didn’t know how to express himself. What could he say that wouldn’t hurt her? Struggling for the right words, he said, “If we were together, I’d end up hurting you someway.”

  “You can’t possibly know...”

  “Yes, I do. I’m beta, Serena. What if something were to happen to me? I don’t want you to bear such a thing. Aside from the danger that comes with my life, I’m never around. If I’m not working, I’m on rotation and…”

  “… outside my door,” she interjected.

  Letting out a harsh breath, he said nothing.

  “Do you honestly think just because we’re not officially together, I wouldn’t mourn if something were to happen to you?” Sitting up, she went on. “It doesn’t matter how much time passes, or if we go months, years without seeing each other, I’m yours, Jason.”

  “God, Serena,” he whispered, his gaze riveted on her.

  Nodding she repeated, “Yes. I’m yours.” Licking her lips, her heart rate kicking up, she said, “And you’re mine.”

  Jason turned away and slumped back against the door. “Fuck.” This conversation would be his undoing. Never in his career of loving this woman had he ever wanted her more than he did right now.

  Leaning his head back, he shut his eyes again. If he looked at her, he’d go to her and do things they would both regret.

  “You want to kiss me now, don’t you?” he heard her ask sweetly.

  Eyes firmly shut, he nodded, gritting down on his molars.

  “I don’t know what’s more intense, just being close to you or when you hold me.”

  Slowly, he opened his eyes. How right she was! It didn’t matter if they were inches, feet, miles apart, as long as they were near each other, a powerful force bound them together. Lowering his head, he turned to his left to stare avidly at her perfect face.

  Breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling, she said, “I can feel you, though. Even when you’re not touching me, I can still feel you.”

  “You have to stop saying everything that comes to mind,” he uttered, breathlessly.

  “You have to start,” she disputed.

  Smirking, he said, “Touché, little one.”

  Biting her lower lip, her eyes widened at him. “I love it when you smile at me,” she whispered, standing gracefully to her feet.

  He stiffened.

  “Jason?”

  “Mmm?”

  “I want you to be my first and only lover.”

  “Jesus, Serena.” He didn’t know whether to come in his pants or pass out.

  “Don’t…”

  “No! We can’t, Serena. You have no idea what you’re asking.” The only thing holding him up right now was the goddamn door at his back. Focusing on the hallway, he refused to look at her, though he watched her every move through his left peripheral.

  “Yes, I do,” she said coolly.

  He shook his head. “No, you don’t.” Taking a deep breath he went on carefully. “After everything you’ve been through, I could never take advantage of you.” Glancing at her, he saw those glorious brown eyes blaze at him and stiffened.

  “Don’t presume to know what I can or cannot handle.”

  Mouth agape, he stared. This convo was getting way out of hand. Jason treaded cautiously. “Serena…if you and I...” He swallowed. “If you had even the slightest hesitation, a moment where you felt…uncomfortable, I’d never forgive myself.” His hand rested on his abdomen. “Please, honey, don’t do this.”

  “I could never feel uncomfortable with you.”

  “You don’t know that. You don’t know how a man can get…” Jason lips tightened in a hard line, looking away. Refusing to think of Benjamin, he finished angrily, “You don’t know how I can get.”

  Her heart leapt excitedly, and he cursed.

  Shaking his head, he said, “I’d never hurt you, but I don’t think I’d be able to restrain myself with you. It may…frighten you,” he trailed off, quietly.

  Serena’s expression took on a whole new emotion, one all too new for her. For emphasis, lightning struck the night’s sky, illuminating the hungry look in her eyes. Gently, she said, “I’m done talking, Jason.”

  His aching shaft twitched, straining for release. “No,” he said in a small voice.

  Stepping in front of him, her head bent back. Jason balled his fists at his sides, demanding them not to move and caress her silken cheeks.

  “Can’t you feel how much I want you? You want me too, don’t deny it.” She moved ever closer, backing him up further against the door. In a second, he was going through the damn thing.

  “Serena, stop.” He shouldn’t be here. He needed to leave, but he had a feeling she’d set off the fire alarm or bust a pipe just to get him to come running back.

  “I need you, Jason.”

  Oh God…

  “Stop fighting me. I know you want to touch me. Do it. My body burns for your touch. Show me what it’s like to be caressed by a man.”

  The urgency in her gaze stunned him. She had no idea what her words were doing to him.

  She glanced down, eyes blazing.

  Okay...Guess she did know.

  Serena reached for his chest, but he caught her wrists, holding them suspended in front of him. Staring for a moment at her delicate fingers, his control began to slip with every aching moment. God, he’d wanted to touch her for so long, really feel her in his hands…arms…

  Very slowly, he brought his gaze to her breasts straining under her shirt, watching her chest rise and fall. How long had it been? He’d imagined this very moment, pictured him loving her, kissing her, moving inside her.

  Damn it!

  He had to try it, needed a taste of what he’d denied himself for so long.
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br />   When his eyes met hers, the last of his restraint crumbled. Pulling her toward him roughly, he hugged her to him in a fierce embrace. She clung to him, arms wound tight around him, her hands squeezing the back of his jacket.

  Serena felt incredible. Her breasts against his chest sent his hardened soul afire. The feel of her legs pressed up along his, her arms enfolding him…it was so right. This is where they belonged, in each other’s arms.

  A light lit inside him, and suddenly, his mind had no control over his body. Jason pulled back to look at her, not her face, but the body he craved. Hands began roaming of their own accord, clasping her waist, her hips, eyes following with a raw intensity. He tested every curve, massaging her skin, reveling in the feel of her. With a savage need, he reached behind her and grabbed her sweet backside, molding his fingers over her glorious mounds.

  Noticing how she watched him, a small part of him thought he should slow down. Was he scaring her with his forcefulness? So help him, he couldn’t stop. He needed to feel every single inch of her. Turning her around, he brought her ass up against his swollen sex, sliding his hands over her thighs, stomach, winding his arms around her to squeeze her to him again and again. A hand came up to her throat and ran possessively down her sternum, in between her mounds, pulling her shirt down to expose her breasts. Bending his head lower for a closer look, he murmured deep in her ear, “Let me see you.”

  Serena arched her back to give him a better view.

  “God, you’re beautiful.”

  Her hands moved to grip the sides of his thighs, her heavy panting mingled with the sound of the storm clouded his mind. He was out of control.

  Laying her head back against his chest, Serena squirmed further into him.

  “Ah, Serena,” he moaned. The death grip on her shirt released, his hands sliding down her rib cage to the tops of her thighs, lifting the hem of her shirt straight up over her head. His vision altered at the sight of her sinuous form, resting bare before him, her nipples hardening from the cool exposure. Growling low, his hand wondered up to feel one of her luscious breasts.